Often times people run into a situation where they wish they thought before they spoke. Have you encountered such an incident? Afterwards you may feel remorse and regret for saying what you said, knowing how it would affect the other party… but you said it anyway. Why? What did you gain from it? Or maybe you just made a mistake.

Most of us are given a “filter”. This “filter” protects us from saying stupid, asinine things. A thought will go through your head and as this thought makes its way to your mouth, the “filter” will make a last-minute decision on whether or not you should say this. Most of the time it works. When it doesn’t, be prepared to ask forgiveness.

The offended party will often say “You said it because that’s how you feel.” That’s not always true. It can be as simple as “I said it because I wasn’t thinking.” Most of the time, the wrong thing is said during the heat of an argument or deep frustration. A couple will be fighting and they both say detestable things to each other which in turn will cause the fight to continue or end in an uncivil manner.

How can you avoid saying something you’ll regret? Simple. Step back from the argument or frustration and take a deep breath. Don’t raise your voice (and your blood pressure). Instead, take a bird’s eye view of the situation and figure out why this argument started. What can I do to resolve it? Is it really worth the debate? Where can we find a compromise?

By yelling, screaming and throwing your hands around like you’re being controlled by some puppeteer will not make your case any stronger. In fact, it will make you look like an ass. Keep your voice at a speaking volume, gather your thoughts (and breath) and figure it out like adults.

Before you speak, think “Is it necessary? Is it true? Is it kind? Will it hurt anyone? Will it improve on the silence?”
Sri Sathya Sai Baba (Indian Spiritual Leader)

Tags: life, thinking