Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.
~ Henry Ford

Teamwork is an important part of life. My team consists of my family, my girlfriend, my friends and my colleagues. Each person on my team has an important role and without them, I would not be where I am today. When life seems to be bothering me or if things just are not going so well, I can count on them to be there to lift up my spirits. If I’m happy, they are there to celebrate with me.

I love to set goals. How I meet those goals can sometimes only be met with teamwork.

If I could solve all the problems myself, I would.
~Thomas Edison, when asked why he had a team of twenty-one assistants

I would like to share a story from the book “Change is Good…  You Go First” about the power of teamwork.

A man was lost while driving through the country. As he tried to reach for the map, he accidentally drove off the road into a ditch. Though he wasn’t injured, his car was stuck deep into the mud. So the man walked to a nearby farm to ask for help.

“Warwick can get you out of that ditch,” said the farmer, pointing to an old mule standing in a field. The man looked at the decrepit old mule and looked at the farmer who just stood there repeating, “Yep, old Warwick can do the job.” the man figured he had nothing to lose. The two men and the mule made their way back to the ditch. The farmer hitched the mule to the car. With a snap of the reins, he shouted,

“Pull, Fred! Pull, Jack! Pull, Ted! Pull Warwick!”

And the mule pulled that car right out of the ditch. The man was amazed. He thanked the farmer, patted the mule, and asked, “Why did you call all of those names before you called Warwick?”

The farmer grinned and said, “Old Warwick is just about blind. As long as he believes he’s part of a team, he doesn’t mind pulling.”

Think of the people on your team who help you out the most; the ones that when you work together, you accomplish more than you would have if both of you had worked alone.

Who’s on your team?

• You can’t spend a day without her/him
• You need to talk at least 5 times a day
• She/he pops into your thoughts multiple times throughout the day… and you smile
• You miss each other even though it’s only been an hour
• Staying in on a Friday night to watch a movie together makes you the happiest person on Earth
• You are out with your friends and you want to text your significant other that you love her/him
• You send a random e-mail to her/him knowing she/he will read it in the morning and it will make her/him smile
• Send flowers for no significant reason… you do it just because
• You miss each other even though it’s only been a few minutes and she/he is in the other room
• When your phone goes off and you see it’s her/him, you smile and can’t wait to pick it up or answer that text message

09/26/09 – Happy Birthday my love

Corinthians 13
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Read that over and over and when you’re finished, read it again. What does it tell you? How does it make you feel? Every time I read that passage I feel uplifted.

Most of us are given a “filter”. This “filter” protects us from saying stupid, asinine things. A thought will go through your head and as this thought makes its way to your mouth, the “filter” will make a last-minute decision on whether or not you should say this. Most of the time it works. When it doesn’t, be prepared to ask forgiveness.

The offended party will often say “You said it because that’s how you feel.” That’s not always true. It can be as simple as “I said it because I wasn’t thinking.” Most of the time, the wrong thing is said during the heat of an argument or deep frustration. A couple will be fighting and they both say detestable things to each other which in turn will cause the fight to continue or end in an uncivil manner.

How can you avoid saying something you’ll regret? Simple. Step back from the argument or frustration and take a deep breath. Don’t raise your voice (and your blood pressure). Instead, take a bird’s eye view of the situation and figure out why this argument started. What can I do to resolve it? Is it really worth the debate? Where can we find a compromise?

By yelling, screaming and throwing your hands around like you’re being controlled by some puppeteer will not make your case any stronger. In fact, it will make you look like an ass. Keep your voice at a speaking volume, gather your thoughts (and breath) and figure it out like adults.

Before you speak, think “Is it necessary? Is it true? Is it kind? Will it hurt anyone? Will it improve on the silence?”
Sri Sathya Sai Baba (Indian Spiritual Leader)

They finished what they had to say and you’re sitting there clueless. All you can come up with is “Cool”. That should cover your butt, right? But what if the person you’re talking with just explained how their family member is sick in the hospital? You just said “Cool”. Smooth move. If you’re not in the mood to have a discussion, then tell them.

Listening in relationships is extremely important. I’m going to use my personal experiences as an example. When my girlfriend and I have conversations, I make sure I engage in them. I don’t just listen, I want to hear. I’m genuinely interested in what she has to say.

On many occasions it has come up when I recalled a specific date and she was surprised that I remembered. How did I remember? I listened wanted to hear.

People, especially women, will know when you’re really listening and when you’re not. The only reason why I know this is because my significant other always tells me she’s surprised I remembered what she said last week. Actually, at this point she’s becoming accustomed to the fact that I can remember so when I slip up on occasion she let’s me know.

Just remember this, listening is wanting to hear.

Jealousy doesn’t necessarily apply to our significant others, it also applies to family. If your kindergartner comes home telling you how much she loves her teacher, you get jealous. Your mother tells your other sibling how proud she is of them, you get jealous. Your friend recently got promoted in their job, you get jealous. Now on to your partner. He/she thinks a celebrity is attractive, you get jealous.

Some of you may think jealousy is a sign of strength towards your relationship when in fact it’s a sign of weakness and insecurity.  If you know that your partner, child, and parent loves you, there’s no need to get jealous.

When you get feelings of jealousy, don’t make the other party suffer from it. Instead, realize what you’re doing and take control. You know they love you, so put your trust in that love. Love… it’s a powerful thing.

Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
~Anonymous

At first it wasn’t so bad and I believe it was because we were still getting to know one another. Granted it’s only been 6 months, but in that short amount of time we got really close and fell in love. We’ve been to Disney World, Universal Studios and enjoyed the night life together. We’ve also enjoyed quiet times and the simple things like movies and walks.

So how have we made our long distance relationship work? We do things together and defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it’s important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. People in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously.

Trust. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work. Don’t poison it with jealousy and drama. When you call her/him and they don’t get back to you right away, don’t go crazy. Stay calm. Trust, remember? They will get back to you when they can. Don’t feel the need to interrogate your partner if they go out for a drink with friends you don’t know.

Talk about the future. We discuss our future together on a daily basis. When will we finally get to spend every day together? When that time comes, how will we do it? We look at homes together online. We each have our own taste in decor and finding that medium is key.

Communication. Communication. Communication. I can’t stress this enough. Communication!! If you have something on your mind, COMMUNICATE IT WITH YOUR PARTNER. Don’t let it build up inside. It will cause you to push away from them. And keep an open mind when your partner wants to discuss something with you. Remember, they love you and want to talk it out because of that.

I also find that if you show love, you will get love in return. Send flowers or a gift on a random day. Don’t wait for a special occasion.

For a list of fun things long distance couples can do, click here.

As the man approached he began a conversation with a shy hello and commented to me how beautiful the weather was.  I asked him if he found anything of interest with his metal detector.  He said, “Nah, my daughter gave me this to me keep me busy after my wife died last year.”  I replied, “I’m sorry.”

The elderly man looked out at the ocean to avoid eye contact and said ,”Yes, we were married 50 years.”  I commented that nowadays that doesn’t happen often.  He said “Well yea, she was the love of my life.”  I could tell he was becoming upset by sharing this information.  I replied “She was very lucky to have had you.”  He replied “She still has me.”   At this point he politely ended the conversation and walked off with his metal detector.

I thought how amazing this man was to have shared his feelings with a perfect stranger on the beach.  A chance meeting… probably not.  Sharing energy can come at the most unexpected times with someone you may not have expected to connect with. I learned that positive energy can attract anyone at the most unexpected moments.  I am open and receptive to others.   That feels good!